(By the way, I haven’t made many resolutions this year. I want to learn to make jam, I want to do sit-ups everyday, and I want to stay positive. Reading the Bible definitely helps with staying positive).

Exodus 31 is well known among artists. God gave Bezalel “knowledge and all craftsmanship to devise artistic designs, to work in gold, silver, and bronze, in cutting stones for setting and in carving wood, to work in every craft.” God says that He has “filled him with the Spirit of God.”

I often get two negative thoughts about art. 1. I should simplify. Should I be writing a novel, playing guitar and writing songs, painting, and doing graphic design? 2. It is not spiritual to do art.

This passage showed me that Bezalel knew how to do A LOT of different things, but they were absolutely needed for building the temple. I am meant to use all of my artistic gifts–that God has given me–to build up God’s house.

In the second half of Exodus 31, God talks a lot about honouring the Sabbath. (I am also doing my best on this one!). I often find that I need to not spend all my free moments making stuff, but to just Be. If I take a day off, my talents also find rest, and I am therefore able to more fully use them the next time they’re needed.

May you know God’s goodness and rest this year and use every gift He’s given you to glorify Him!

I’ve been putting up more paintings and photographs in the flat. Below are some photos I put up in the kitchen. The second photo is some rose lemonade I bought so I can use the bottle to make my own vanilla extract.

During Christmas, I got really into hot chocolate, which really got me into cute-looking tins. I also went to visit friends in London and got inspired to make my own granola. I will make this for the rest of my life!

I’ve also been having a lot of fun this holiday season, celebrating all the good things that have happened this past year. Before I make resolutions and decisions, I just want to thank God for all the good that’s come this year. Here are a very FEW of my favourite things:

1. Music. I played 3 gigs this year and recorded my music. I am so thankful I am able to express myself creatively and for a very supportive group of friends and open mics where I get to play every week should I take the opportunity.

2. Inspiring people. I have been so challenged and blessed by my friends’ lives and all that they are doing. I had the privilege of collaborating this year with some amazing people (in art and music). I am also currently reading Jackie Chan’s biography. What an inspiring story!

3. Coffee & my sunlamp. I had a bought with Seasonal Affective Disorder this year. If I didn’t have a sunlamp, I’d be a complete wreck. Thank God for artificial light, which gives energy when it’s not coming from the sun. I also just got a red tea that looks like Christmas and tastes amazing.

4. Finally, I am thankful for these socks I’m wearing. I feel like a strong bear when I wear them.

Faith is based on fact, the truth of God’s Word. Here’s an amazing promise I am reminded of today:

I Thessalonians 5:23-4 “Now may of the God of peace sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.”

Mind you, I have a lot on at the moment. I’m preparing for an exhibition at the end of the month. We finally set a date. I am designing a high school yearbook. I work for a church. I am recording my music. I am a very social person.

However, I have also gone to two writing events this week, both of which were very inspiring. One was a networking event where you met actual writers, publishers, aspiring writers, and students studying either writing or publishing. I used to be terrified of networking in university and went to some university posh dinners and networking events to see what they were like. I realise the secret to such events now is the ability to come with encouragement. Don’t go to these events hoping to receive, but go to listen. Listening works with most people I meet. If you want to have friends ask, “How are you?” and wait through the one-word answer and the ensuing silence for the honest answer. With many people, there is no awkward silence, but paragraphs. Everyone’s favourite topic, admitted or not, is his or herself.

Today, I went to an event at the Scottish National Poetry Library. I heard from two publishers of literary magazines. I bought an issue of Dark Horse, which has beautiful type setting and essays that go way over my head (i.e. challenge me!). The poems are of the sort where every word is carefully measured. All this for £5. It is a publication for Americans and Scots with headquarters in both nations. How could I not be interested in an idea that sits so carefully close to my current situation? The biggest takeaway from this lecture was to only submit to publications that you would want to publish your work and wait until things are ready because it’s too late to take it back once it’s out there. (Made me really think about recording my songs and if I was certain about the lyrics).

When I get photos back from my gig photographer, I’ll write a post about my gig. Maybe all this motivation to complete NaNoWriMo (so fun to say aloud) this year is a result of feeling like a rockstar the day after my gig just as much as I did last night.

I still don’t know what motivates people to perform. It is so nerve wracking! My guitar teacher said that every time he performs, he learns something. That’s how it is with everything you show up for in life, I guess. The thing is, you don’t get to pick what you learn. I learned from the sound man that my “guitaring is great,” but I “need to work on my vocals.” My volume gets higher when I hit higher notes, and I need to stabilise and even it out. I can hear it now when I listen to others (and I’m hoping soon I’ll get it with my own work).

The more guitar I learn, the more I can hear how tunes fit together and how soon, I’ll be able to do more, like barre chords, I’ve been wanting to do for ages. I’m also recording, playing music with my friend, and got to go to a songwriting workshop for 3 hours this past Saturday with a lovely lady called Jo Mango (look her up!). It’s all happening so quickly, but beautifully. I’m growing and that’s worth celebrating. In the context of all the open mics I’ve ever sung at, my first performance was fantastic, and I am proud of this video, even though in a few years (or maybe months), I’ll wonder what I was thinking.

This past weekend, I got to go to an arts conference here in Edinburgh. It was in every way refreshing, but I was staring at the depths of people’s work and raising my hand for about 4 artistic endeavours (music, writing, graphic design, painting). I’m not saying it’s not okay to have a lot of interests, but I do find that I can only really focus on one or two in any given season. I was also a few years ahead of some at the conference, which has gifted me with more time to explore. I don’t mind being multifaceted. However, I don’t want to be busy without a purpose. I don’t want to use an art form as a distraction from another I’m finding difficult, especially when I’m working for others and need to get a project done.

A few conversations came up this past weekend about why it is easier to create when we are sad. That being sad somehow feels deeper. One chat rested on the conclusion that you want to correct what’s causing sadness so you examine to find out. When you are happy, you aren’t wondering why you are. You simply want to enjoy it.

The Bible has a lot to say about the deep. Most of these verses appear in Job and Psalms, supporting the idea that sadness makes us sit still and consider.

The last thing I want to do when I feel “deep” is sit still and consider. I have overcome a lot of fear about creating based on negative emotions, but some still remains. Job, however, in the midst of his pain, exhorts his friends, He uncovers the deeps out of darkness and brings deep darkness to light. Job 12:22

God wants us to process our pain and find a way to use it. For me, that comes most often through artistic expression or encouraging someone else going through a similar situation. We go to Him. He makes sense of it. And, even when the inexplicable sadness returns as it always does, we’re less likely to be moved so quickly by it, sitting still as the shallow ripples pass over us.

One of those friends is my dear friend Andrea. We’ve been friends since fourth grade. What a pleasure and honor to know her! We talked a lot about abundance in the few days we were together. How just because someone else writes a novel (even if it’s about exactly the same thing), has a good relationship, or does anything else well, doesn’t mean that someone else having something excludes you from the very same (or even better). We would all need to give up if so!

It depends on how you view God. Either He is an either-or kind of God or a both-and kind of God. I constantly have to shift my thinking. It’s not–If I get that, I can’t have this. It’s–I will work on this now, and later, I’ll have both as He sees fit, at a time when I can appreciate them both.

Andrea and I went on an adventure Monday morning. I hopped on the back of her Vespa and we made our way to the PTA Thrift Store in Carrboro. We took home LOADS. She’s holding a crock in the photo, and I a basket for her eggs I encouraged her to purchase. I got a Bible and a saint to hang in my room. These were great finds that perfectly illustrate the idea of abundance. The note on the left is one I found in the Bible (I love trying to figure it out – it seems so poetic). The image on the far right is the back of the Saint.

We also fit the two of us and everything we bought on Andrea’s Vespa despite my insistence that we go get the car instead. Abundant indeed.

It was a bit of a shock to write United Kingdom as my country of residence on my landing card.

Americans don’t respect lines (queues) as much as people in the UK. When I landed in Philly, I got cut in line twice. I was absolutely shocked! I had just come off a plane sitting by a British guy who apologised profusely for the one bathroom trip he had to make (I had the aisle seat).

Americans have a much bigger country. We (proud to be American still!) take up more space because we have it. UKers are used to not having a lot of space and maximise it (hence, their really organised queues).

I also noticed that American customer service is even more friendlier than I remember it. In UK, you are bothering someone if you want to pay them for something. A lot of people attribute this to the fact that we give tips in America, but there are many more shopping conveniences not explained by tips. In UK, a lot of places don’t really take cards because all of the ATMs are free, no matter what bank you’re a part of, and there’s usually a fee if the transaction is under £5. Here in US, they’ll take a card for less than $1. I am shocked every time this works. I am also still getting used to have tax added after I pay for something. In UK, it’s already there, so if something says it’s £1, it’s £1 when you pay for it.

This trip, I am also missing my friends in Edinburgh a lot more than I did at Christmas. A year is long enough for someone like me to develop deep friendships. Still, I very much feel that there’s nothing like being around people who have known me 10 years on average (some even longer!). It has been refreshing! And, the food has been SO GOOD!

So, the verdict. Notice that I didn’t title this post “US vs. UK.” There are positive/negatives to both. I’ll always be thankful for this time of living between two countries. And, I miss Edinburgh like crazy (those feelings started after only 4 days of being here!), so I hope I’ll live in UK a LOT longer.